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Tips for a Successful Wedding

This page is dedicated to helping non-professional planners of weddings. These "tips" are based on my professional experiences, stories I have heard along the way and great ideas that come to me in the middle of the night or though dialog with other professional planners. Visit here each month for a new Tip!

Tip # 1 - "Trust but Verify"
Regardless of your politics, there was an expression used by then President Reagan in the 1980's that has always stuck with me - "Trust but Verify". For those wedding couples especially who choose not to use a planner - this phrase could not be more true.

I remember getting a phone call from a groom, three days before his wedding, whose responsibility it was to make sure the wedding cake was going to be there on-time and according to the design he had put together. He is a graphic designer and as such wanted to make sure their cake had some flair to it and ultimately said something about the couple. Everything at first went smoothly. They called various bakeries, emailed scans of the design, went in to visit their top selection, tasted the cake and finally put down a sizable deposit.

While they were at the bakery they saw various designs in the display case and one in particular that was the exact shape he wanted. It was basically a tall cake with elongated tiers (not the short and squatty ones you see so often). The bakery sales person who has very "seasoned" agreed that would be the perfect cake style to carry off his design and so they happily signed the contract for their wedding day.

Three days before the wedding the groom decided that he would call the bakery to confirm delivery time. He also (on a fluke) asked the sales person to confirm the height of the layers. When she responded that the layers would each be 5" tall he thought she was kidding. "No, really, how tall are the layers?" he asked again. She wasn't kidding. When he reminded her of his drawing, the cake in the display case and their agreement she responded "Well, we decided not to make that cake!" Remember this is THREE days before their wedding. He asked if it was a matter of money and she responded "No, we are just afraid to make that cake as the layers of around 10" each might not travel well." When he explained that they would accept liability for the design, the sales person wouldn't budge. She finally said "Why don't we just refund your money?!"

I received the phone call as they had considered hiring me before they decided to do it on their own. This is not to say this would not happen with a professional at the helm but with everything else a wedding party needs to concentrate on just to get down the aisle, this sort of detail can fall through the cracks unless you are creating detailed lists and checking them over and over again. Thirty minutes later I found a new cake designer who was more than happy to pick up the pieces (or is that crumbs?) from the top-rated San Diego Cake company that had so miserably failed this couple. The good news (as far as I'm concerned) is that not only did that cake company lose this cake sale, but they lost any referrals they would ever get from me!

So the tip? Trust but Verify. Don't think that the "vendors" will all do what they said they were going to do without double-checking their work. If you are going to do it on your own, make lists that include detailed descriptions, completion dates, responsibility and the phone numbers of the main contact or owner for each vendor just in case they drop the "proverbial" ball. Assign this list to a non-key member of the bridal party. Meet with them weeks before your actual wedding to go over your files and make sure they understand, as well as you do, what is expected of the vendors. Don't leave this to chance or you most certainly will be disappointed. Lastly, consider hiring a professional wedding planner who will stay on top of everything from day one. It may be the best money you budget.